The Ponderosa: Land of the free home of the crappy music

Death before Dhimmitude

Energy Independence

Above this race of men stands an immense and tutelary power, which takes upon itself alone to secure their gratifications and to watch over their fate. That power is absolute, minute, regular, provident, and mild. It would be like the authority of a parent if, like that authority, its object was to prepare men for manhood; but it seeks, on the contrary, to keep them in perpetual childhood: it is well content that the people should rejoice, provided they think of nothing but rejoicing. For their happiness such a government willingly labors, but it chooses to be the sole agent and the only arbiter of that happiness; it provides for their security, foresees and supplies their necessities, facilitates their pleasures, manages their principal concerns, directs their industry, regulates the descent of property, and subdivides their inheritances: what remains, but to spare them all the care of thinking and all the trouble of living?

--Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Land of the free home of the crappy music

American Music Awards on tap Tuesday

LOS ANGELES - Call it the night of multiple nominations. More than a dozen artists headed into the 2006 American Music Awards on Tuesday with at least two chances to win, including Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, Eminem, Carrie Underwood and Mary J. Blige.

Songbird Mariah Carey, hip-hoppers the Black Eyed Peas and rockers Red Hot Chili Peppers and Nickelback had even better chances with three nominations each.

Talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel was set to emcee the three-hour ceremony at the Shrine Auditorium, to be televised live on ABC. The show boasted a star-studded lineup of performers, including Beyonce, the Pussycat Dolls, Nelly Furtado, Rascal Flatts, Jamie Foxx and John Mayer. Jay-Z and Gwen Stefani were also set to perform new singles from their forthcoming albums.

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Gangsters, slatterns and lame ass "rockers".

First in war, first in peace, last in music.

It's not that there aren't great bands in the U.S., just that they have no place in their own country. Recently, we rocked to Kamelot at the filthy, disgusting Penny Arcade out here in Charlotte, NY, even as inferior local acts played to larger crowds nearby.

Canada may be in the process of succumbing to Eurosclerosis, but at least you can find a place to bang your head most Saturday nights.

We travel regularly to Toronto to see amazing bands who have given up on the U.S. -- hell, even Iron Frigging Maiden who are selling out everywhere else in the world.

We live in a city where Uncle Plum is king. Here, as in most of America, Pussy Rock rules.

It's true: You'll never go broke appealing to bimbos.

We can't pinpoint exactly when it became anathema to actually be able to play your instrument with virtuosity, but it was undoubtedly sometime in the early '90's when the excesses of the hair bands gave way to the self-indulgent sloppiness of the grunge moaners and kvetchers. True rockers were thrown out with the sequined bathwater.

Not that we're complaining. We are after all, conservatives, and thus realize that life is unfair and that Supply responds to Demand. We are oft heard to exclaim "There is no justice in music."

But couldn't there at least be a little more CHOPS flashed in American popular music? Stop whining/bellowing/cursing/ho f**king and put both hands on the fricking fretboard and SHRED!

Kamelot, U.S. and Norway